The Journey: February 2011

As the second semester is underway here at Haus Blauen, I have been spending some time processing. I just got back from a weekend off, which was very relaxing, but before I settle back in to my ways here, I wanted to take a good look at what my ways have become. In other words, what am I doing with my time, for better or worse, how has that changed since I first arrived, and is this how I want to live.

This blog is one of the instigators in this thought process. I blogged a lot when I first decided to come to BFA and in my first year here. Now, my blogging is practically non-existent. This was a priority before but somewhere along the way, I began to procrastinate and 1 month became 2, became 5. And now, I'm here. Trying to get back into a good habit, an important habit, what is a crucial form of communication for me since I'm so far away from so many people who are my support system, my community.

Last year I hiked so much. The forests and hills that surround my dorm were incredible to me, they amazed and energized me. When spring came last year I switched to running instead. Now, I rarely go hiking and haven't run consistently since the fall. I should mention that as I write this I see a good 6 inches of snow out my window and even with my fleece socks on, my feet are still cold. Regardless, I've become complacent in these areas. The Black Forest is as beautiful as ever and my running shoes are ready to go but I choose a nap instead.

Now, these seem like small habits, fairly easy to start and easier to quit. What I'm wondering, however, is how these habits, and others like them, affect my relationships and my ability to serve here. Over the weekend I was talking to another RA here who had the weekend off. We both went to Moody, were in the same major, had some classes together, but never really knew each other well and never would have thought we would end up here at the same time, spending a weekend together. Another close friend of mine here not only went to Moody and had the same major but also grew up in Bluffton with me. Because we have all gone through so many of the same classes at Moody, with the same professors, we can connect on a deep level considering how long we have been friends and this is such a to comfort me. God has used these women to speak truth into my life though I wouldn't have guessed that one would ever be a friend, or that the other would remain so close. All this to say, God works in intricate ways and in everything we do.

Therefore, everything we do, or don't do, has repercussions on our life. By not blogging, I'm losing a way to communicate my life to people that I love who can't see it for themselves, therefore hindering these relationships that I value. By not hiking or running, I'm losing an outlet and an energizer in my life and while it's harder to pinpoint where that affects my relationships specifically, I know it does.

Now, why am I sharing all this? Colossians 3 and 4 has been on my heart and mind a lot lately. In chapter 3 Paul talks about putting off the old self which includes idolatry, "anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk" because we have a new self "which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator." Then comes the part which I love and loathe all at once, because it is absolutely convicting. 3:12-15 says "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful."

So often lately I have been marinating in my old self and forgetting that I am being renewed. I haven't been doing the things in my life that help me clothe myself in compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience and I see the affects this has on my relationships here and back in the States. When I don't dwell in God's love myself, I can't "put on love" and there will be repercussions in life.

Dorm life has been a little more difficult for me than it usually is lately. My patience runs short and my heart to serve is a little dry. I believe the longer you live with people the harder, and more rewarding it is. I love my girls and my dorm staff, they are more dear to me than ever, but when I forget what I am "clothing" myself in and just put on whatever is easiest, these relationships suffer.

So now, my resolution. Day in and day out I want to become more intentional with what I clothe myself in and therefore what I do with myself and my time. Keeping up with this blog and all of you back in the States in a big part of this. I value not only what is given but the relationships that I have.

And just so you know, I'm not planning on making these deeper, thoughtful blogs a habit. I know this is read more for what is going on here in the dorm, or at least that's what I like to talk about more. Here are a few pictures from our dorm retreat last semester. We went to Adelboden, Switzerland and spent a weekend in the alps in a chalet. It was wonderful weekend together.

Here are pictures from a hike we took. We had perfect weather...